Friday, March 4, 2011

S** and Censorship

In an earlier post I detailed the pernicious dealings of the evil-doers in the alcohol industry. These people are trying their hardest to influence our children and shatter America’s second greatest resource (after the children, of course): the American family. While the Utah legislature keeps us safe behind the Zion Curtain from trivial things like Chili's, bartenders, and critical thinking, another means of protecting our delicate sensibilities remains strong as well: censorship.

Controlling ideas by controlling the flow of information isn't a new concept. It happens quite regularly in books, television, films, plays, the Internet, and, I suppose, greeting cards (only the really communist ones). Censorship is usually committed by an individual or group in some position of authority. This authority (pseudo or otherwise) can range from AMC's editing team changing Bruce Willis' famous line from Die Hard to "Yippie kai yay, Mr. Falcon!" to Utah's own CleanFlicks editing Kate Winslet's boobs out of Titanic. Normally, the censor suppresses content that directly conflicts with a personal, religious, or political belief. Let's look at some examples.

In January of 2006, Larry Miller, owner of the Utah Jazz and the Megaplex theater franchise pulled Brokeback Mountain from showing on a single screen at his theater. Miller obviously wasn’t on board with the film’s left-wing gay agenda even though ten years of the interracial "Stockton to Malone" relationship should have taught him some tolerance. When asked by the Salt Lake Tribune if he would like to comment on the film's banning, Miller, clearly tired of swallowing the left's agenda deep down his throat--deep throating, if you will--responded, "I said everything I had to say when I pulled the movie. Okay? Anything else you want to know?" Not really. I can only assume that pulling Brokeback Mountain meant more screens for films that uphold the quintessential Latter Day value system like Johnny Knoxville's The Ringer, the Adam Sandler produced Grandma's Boy, and the Eli Roth torture fest Hostel.

Movies aren't the only forms of media that face censorship. Between 400-500 books face some sort of challenge or ban each year. Some of these books are supposed classics like Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse Five, Hemingway's A Farewell to Arms, and Heller's Catch-22. The reasons for these bans vary from too much sex, obscenities, sex, too communist, sex, and of course, sex. Other titles face challenges as well like the Twilight and Harry Potter series but for different reasons, namely: the promotion of vampirism, witchcraft (or is it wizarding?) and, in the case of Twilight, being incredibly boring. The source of the challenge or ban usually originates with parents filing a complaint at their local library or school library where children may come in contact with this troubling material.

One thing to note: the majority of challenged books end as just that. Actual banning is rare, especially in America. Most challenges are dismissed at the local level (library associations, school boards) with no concessions such as moving the offensive material to another location or labeling it as adult-only fare. The interesting thing here is what the majority of challenges center on. Sex. Here's a personal example.
 
Upon publication in 1991, the Bret Easton Ellis novel American Psycho created quite a controversy. I knew exactly what to expect from a left-wing, bleeding-heart mind like Ellis’: sex, drugs, murder, entire chapters devoted to ‘80s music, misogyny, misanthropy, and perhaps even a bit of lycanthropy. My most poignant memory from that reading experience didn’t come from the story itself, but from a brief comment written at the top of a page during one of the book’s more lurid moments. At one point, the title character, Patrick Bateman, engages in a three-way with two prostitutes (if you’re reading this in Sacrament Meeting, you’ve just sinned). Ellis describes this depraved encounter over the course of several pages leaving nothing to the imagination. At the end of this encounter, in what looked to be a female’s handwriting, gouged into the page with all the righteous fervor of Glenn Beck writing on his chalkboard, was the claim, “This is pornography!”

Was her claim correct? Who knows? I do know that this moral watchdog didn’t leave any other comments throughout the entire book, missing such adult themes as: homosexuality; extreme drug use; excessive affluent lifestyles; adultery; torture; mutilation; murder; cannibalism; and necrophilia. In other words: The Bible. It’s clear from her omissions that sex shouldn’t be written about in the real world anymore than Voldemort’s name be spoken in Harry Potter’s. It also seems that sex and its related themes are at the top of a long list of things we want kept either private or censored, and we'll even use our positions of authority and power to cover up our inappropriate acts. Especially if it's something worse than sex. What could be worse than sex, you ask? Larry Miller already gave us this answer: gay sex.

Take former Senator Larry Craig, R-Idaho, as another example. Craig, one of the creators of the anti-gay “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy was arrested back in 2007 for soliciting sex from an undercover police officer in a Minneapolis-St. Paul airport men’s room. The always-classy Senator Craig tried his hardest to make this obvious frame job go away by identifying himself as a member of the U.S. Senate to the arresting officer, as well as presenting his Senate I.D. card to anyone who'd look at it. After the incident went public, Craig tried unsuccessfully to withdraw his guilty plea. He then used campaign funds for his legal defense and to help rehabilitate his public image. All legal nonsense aside, once we get past Craig’s confusion regarding his sexual identity, and his proclivity for homophobic government policies, we see that the moral of this story is hypocrisy. I mean shame: shame on you Larry Craig for using a men’s room that was under police surveillance. Didn't he learn anything from George Michael?

While we're on the subject of sex, it's important to note that even our own Utah legislature knows a thing or two about sex (they certainly should since they legislate morality for the entire state). Senate Bill 12 deals with the control of retailing alcoholic beverages but our legislators require almost philosophical conceptual analysis regarding anything that deals with alcohol retail, including what one might see at a strip club. SB12 begins by defining terms, and in this case, the terms need defining for 27 pages, including definitions regarding nudity at the strip club. Here's an example of what a "state of nudity" can mean: everything from the "appearance of the nipple or areola of a female human breast" to "a human genital" as well as "a human pubic area" and even a "human anus." Censor thyself, Legislator!

It looks as if sex (broadly construed) in America will remain the focus of censorship until we realize that we don't need protection from seeing Dennis Franz's naked ass in the shower. According to patriots like Senator Ted Stevens, R-Alaska, chairman of the Commerce Committee, "Eighty-five percent of the people watching televisions today are watching through cable, but they think they're watching local TV. They have to have some protection." he says. I can only assume that the difference between local TV and cable is that local TV is easier to turn off when something you find offensive is on.




I don't think you're ready for this jelly.

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